Unassisted Birth

Since we were pregnant with Alanna, we were thinking of having a homebirth... We never looked for information and it was just left alone for a while...but it was still lingering in the back of our heads....
With JG we were also thinking it... but i just can't remember why we didn't go ahead with it..
Well with Camila, we were seriously doing research, came across a pair of midwifes that gave us a bunch of information and also the most important... their pricing $3500 big bucks. Gee how could we afford it.. well thanks to a little angel we were able to afford it. Then I went to the initial appointment and they told me their fee was only for their labor... What?! you don't supply the stuff.. the birth kit.
I started doing some research and the only thing that worries me is the registration at the SD RECORDS office... there are so many requirements that make me a little iffy... but I think we can go ahead with it.
Well we are going to have an unassisted birth, no doctor, no midwife... a lot of people may disagree because they think or society has made them think we need a doctor, nurses, equipment and hospital to have a "natural birth" whats so natural about being hooked up to a machine. And it's not us being old fashioned or trying to save a couple of bucks, at this point it's about doing it the way nature intended it.

Wow

Its been a while! Almost a year this June 6! Jovan Gerardo was born on 6.6.12, and then we got pregnant again 10.15.2012 so i am about due. I am currently 31 weeks pregnant and we are planning a home birth. What are we we having?...... a Girl!  Im going to try to update this as much as possible, leaving you with some pics.....

Water broke

Details to come

in labor

ive been in labor since this afternoon.....at the dr appt i was at 3 cm 90% effaced and contracting every 2 minutes.....ill keep you posted
Update... no

Glucose Tolerance Test

its that time already, i remember that with Alanna it used to be one hour, but apparently they changed it up to 2 hours, i am not liking this, its making me nauseous. I was trying to skip this test, since my due date is close.... but yesterday at the doctors appointment, they told me i would be treated as diabetic of i didn't take the test.... i had no option!
For the 33 week appointment, everything seems fine, ill be off procardia at 37 weeks...hopefully he will come by then which is the beginning of June, yay for that! A June baby!!

Appointment 38 weeks

I was at the hospital on saturday because the doctor had told me to go for observation, i did and i was still 3cm 90% effaced and no more contractions... Had me come in today for a follow up...
5 cm
100% effacement
No contractions
I think he sweeped my membranes because it hurt more than the usual check up....Hooked me to the contraction monitor and no contractions were registered....
I got home and of course little spotting was found in my undies... they have subsided but I seem to have more cramping right now... So I am drinking some tea, sitting on a yoga ball and walking, no not walking, galloping up the hill.... lets see if it works...

37 Weeks....

I am at 37 weeks now, Alanna was born at exactly 37 weeks... What are you waiting for Jovancito!?
The race starts today, Jovan says he will be born on Sunday and I said from the 4th (full moon) to the 6th...
I am ready to evict this child!
I have doctor's appointment today... HOPEFULLY i will be a little bit more advanced than i was at 35 weeks... Keep your fingers crossed

35 Week Appointment

We had our appointment yesterday...
Glucose Test- Good
Dilation- 1cm
Effacement- 80-90%

I was not taking Procardia anymore, it makes me feel horrible... Yesterday Dr told me to start taking it again.. I started in the afternoon...
I can't really walk anymore, I feel like if the baby is pushing down and it's pinching something in there... Hopefully he will wait until the beginning of June... I have stuff to do! who doesn't? LOL
I can't sleep at night... toss and turn...take showers, have hot flashes, and so many other pains that come with pregnancy... Im starting to think that I may not want to have other babies.... We'll see...

Baby Dropped....

You cant really see it but its lower now.... i was checking to see when did Alanna dropped, and she did at about 30 days or so..... that means ill be delivering end of the month or beginning of June.... hopefully.
Did i mention we are having a boy? well we are! and he will be named after my husband and also to honor my dad, Jovan Gerardo... Oh i cant wait to meet him!
Also no baby shower for this one...and i am thankful to say that Jovan shares my way of thinking, we believe that its ok for the first one, but not for 2nd or 3rd....plus whoever wants to give someyhing the baby will give it, there is no need for parties....again right or wrong that is our way of thinking

crochetting

Is this cute or what!?
There is a amazing collection of cute girly thing.... what about boy stuff... well i decided to make him cute things without jeopardazing his manhood... silly mom...I'll be making baby booties and a baby cocoon....

28th Week Appointment

I had my 28th week appointment this day and I ended up getting admitted to triage.. I had contractions every 1 1/2- 3 minutes.. Had the worst steroid shot, just in case I delivered early... and was prescribed Procardia... Not a very fun prescription.... lowers my blood pressure... makes me feel drunk... I have to take it until 36 weeks or so...
Stayed overnight.. and was sent home, no bed rest or nothing..
lets see how it goes

oh boy Oh Boy OH BOY!

We are so excited to announce that we are having a boy... There was a lot of women including my mother in law that thought (because of the shape of the belly) that it was going to be a girl.. I always like to prove that those things most of the times are wrong...
Most people tell us that we will now have "la parejita" but I hate to disagree to that comment... why say that if they won't be sharing make up, dolls, clothes... On the plus side, they won't fight for those things either...
Regardless... I love the fact that we are going to experience something new!!!  We are extremely excited!
A has also picked the name... but i'm not sure J likes the name... but hey...I got my ideas for the baby.. and I have to admit I love the Name that A picked... (will probably figure it out when we see his sweet sweet face)
On a different note.. I want to start Vlogging... I've seen couple of vloggs and they seem so interesting, maybe I'll try it sometime.....
Nuff of the random posting.. my head is all over the place

10 Week Appointment

It's measuring normal.. what a relief.. and what a great way to start cooking thanksgiving dinner... so thankful for everything that I have... 
HAPPY THANKSGIVING

8 Weeks Appointment

It seems like we are going to have to be seen by the doctor every two weeks... we get a chance to see the peanut twice a month..... due to the previous losses...
Which is great!
I am soo excited.. but I am also very cautions of the things I do and Don't do...
Morning Sickness is at night... but all of a sudden... I am getting it all day now... so forget about water, coffee or chips. nothing.... i cannot eat anything....
Lost 5 lbs already.... and I think, i'm just shedding the excess.. LOL

Anyways... it's so easy for me to loose track of what I initially logged in for....
2nd Dr Appointment was very gratifying, we heard the heartbeat  159 beats per minute...My little darling is a strong hearted... or so i felt.... Leaving the Dr K's office, i burst into tears, tears of joy... i couldn't contain myself... "a beat of hope".
Hearing the heart means you have reduced by 30% the chance of a loss..
We will keep you updated.. Next Appointment is on Nov 23rd....

Here we go again...

5 WEEKS AND 5 DAYS

This ultrasound was done Friday 10/28/2011
Did Lab Test for My HGC Levels on Tuesday November 1st (6.2 Weeks) and my levels were 46,000!
Im currently on Baby Asprin and Prometrium...

Hard Days

You can have all the support in the world and feel ok.. but when you are alone... and things start running through your mind, you break down.
I had not had the chance to just let it all out... i sometimes pretend to be stronger than i am... but i am not, I rather not talk about it, and swallow the whole pain in one big gulp.... and it almost feels like I'm swallowing a big ball of fire, especially when my daughter asks me "is my little brother hungry" or "cold" or any question related to our loss. I can't let her see the pain... I push the words out of my mouth and hold back my tears and tell her.. "he/she is going to be a little bit late"
Yesterday, was bad... anything would make me cry... My husband asked me if I wanted to go to our chapel... I didn't know if I wanted to be there.
I felt so much sadness, I couldn't bear the thought of being in front of  God, What would I say? My head is asking " why did you give him to me and then take him away" but my heart reminded me of our Virgin... How selfish of me... who was I to ask something like that?
I cried, sat there just accepting his will
And I prayed for strength...

GRACIAS

El apoyo que me brinda mi familia, mis amigos y mi esposo es tan grande que gracias a dios no he sentido dolor... Bueno no ha sido tan fuerte... Me da mas sentimiento sentir el carino de mi familia Y amigos...se que estan conmigo.

GRACIAS!

The "M" Word

It was a miscarriage....
it started lightly but it escalated to bright red...
Anyways life goes on, and we keep on trying and Para arriba y para adelante

Worry Too Much?

I should be around 6 weeks today... and i woke up a little bit more scared today... I have been quite stressed lately and well... today when my my mom asked me what was going on with me... i couldn't hold back my tears and anxiety concerns about this pregnancy...
Sure enough I get to work... and i go to the ladies room... pee and wipe pinkish....
I can't even bear the thought

1st Doctors Appointment

I am :(
Iam very scared, im scared of going to the doctor on August 16th and the same thing happening... I'm freaked out, I've been taking pt like crazy.....I even bought a digital one....

That seems to kind of ease my mind, but when I am at work.... or by myself, that is the only thing i seem to think about....
Today I decided to take a belly picture.... What is the worse that can happen... break my heart again... Let's just pray for the best

Not bad ;)

Dar Gracias

Hay una pequena capilla por mi casa, y ayer tuve tiempo de llegar a dar gracias...
Llegue a encomendarle mi pequeno retonito a Mi Virgencita, y que fuera lo que ella quisiera lo aceptabamos con mucho gusto. Que todo lo que nos mandan, es porque saben que podemos y que seremos los mejores padres para nuestros hijos.... Senti una bendicion tan grande cayo sobre mi.... no habia podido caer en cuenta, que todo este tiempo de dolor que yo tenia, habia llegado a su final...y empeze a llorar de felicidad... Diran que que chipis.... pues si.... no es cierto.... si senti algo muy bonito....

Our Journey....The dream.... The plans...

After a blighted ovum and a D&C and the feeling of being a failure, even when I stopped and I though that this was for a reason, that God had other plans for us... since we left him out when deciding to use Mirena...it was the least he could do to let us know, that it's not in us to decide, how many or when...it's him

It has been a very humble experience for us, my sister recently found out she was pregnant for the second time, and she was already 20 weeks, it just left me to just sit and question God's decisions, why? why them? why her? what about us?
Couldn't even bear the thought, I couldn't think of it... nor talk to her, seeing her pregnant cracked, punched and squeezed my heart every time.

We moved on... I would worry every month, but not like before... 

Not to long ago, and I'm going to make it very short because apparently this dream has other meanings as well, I am still trying to decipher... it started scary but it got peaceful at the end of that part.

Im going to call her my guardian angel, because she came to tell me something in my dream, i can't quite remember what it was about, but during the dream she was with me everywhere I went, and I remember asking for her to visit me often and, she responds that, She had only come to warn me, and that it was very hard to get these kind of permits.
(That is what makes me believe she is a guardian angel.)
At almost the end of the dream, i dared to ask one more question, and it went something like this "am i preggers?" she just smiled and that was all I needed to burst into tears of happiness. She answered that before I even knew!

Yesterday I made T-shirts for our daughter and one for daddy, Telling them about the expectancy.I will post pictures later

I am still kind of worried since the it's just the beginning... in the meanwhile keep us in your prayers


POLKA DOT

 

BFP!

I COULDN'T WRITE IT BIGGER BUT WE GOT A BFP! TWO ACTUALLY.... THING IS J DOESN'T KNOW YET... HOW CAN I TELL HIM?!

Sunday Evening


Monday Morning, (A LITTLE BIT SHAKEY)


**CREMITA... Please DON'T SAY NOTHING YET**

To try or not to try....

WE are both a little scared of trying again... we will just leave it to God... and let it be what he wants it to be....
In the meanwhile... I will be making Pozole! Literally! LOL
Any good recipes out there? I got mine, but i like to change things a bit... you never know what could happen!

update

i am at home after the d&c and just resting... i found a good little friend to hang out... nobody i ever thought off... a someone i though didn't like me...a world full of surprises.... my little baby sister in law... nobody has ever done so much for me like she has done.... she knows who she is...te quiero mucho mi cremita de chantilly....

Final Result

Last Friday's Appointment was went as i thought it would go...
I've scheduled a D&C for Wednesday....

A Week

It's been a week... and nothing has happened.... except just waiting...I heard that taking Rue (c0mmon rue) i would just "release" the pregnancy, I thought about taking it... and I did once, but then my conscience came into place, what if....? the "what if" is what killing me now...
My body keeps on gaining weight and following my hormones orders like if i was still pregnant, i keep on doing research, trying to find answers that no website will give me....I read Misdiagnosed miscarriage and my hopes get up, but then I get into more medical crap and my hopes get shot just like a deer at an open range.

And what is up with the baby boom?
My little family spent a mini vacation at Julian and I couldn't seem to get my away from my mourning and really enjoy my surroundings... Everything made me think...and not to help the cause, this lady at a diner.... told us "you should really have another one..." Felt like putting salt, lemon and tequila on an open wound... no words came out, you could just hear our thoughts and feel our sadness...I know my husband felt what I was feeling... but we both opt not to go that road... it Hurts
I guess what i couldn't tell him then and there... I am pouring here Sorry....

SHATTERED

The pregnancy is no good...
Just waiting for my body to release it...
Last week at the appointment... and allow me to say what a difference! He was so much better than the other doctor, Doctor K was a much younger doctor and much more sympathetic doctor... He just said, don't worry we will get through this... we will help you pass this ....
He allowed me to wait 3 more weeks to let my body do it's course, the inevitable... and then a D&C
The sac did not grow more than six weeks which by now it would have been 8 weeks... Things happen for a reason and I know God doesn't send you more than you can handle, but it hurts...
I don't want to hear.. you guys are young, you got your life ahead..
I know that!
For now... Or little angel is in heaven...just allow us to mourn....

PS next appointment is on the 11th

4th and Last Update- waiting for the worse hoping for the best

4th and last update... I guess the next update would be a good or a bad.... dunno... but here is the deal.
I received my hcg levels and did not look very promising... only raised by 2,000 already had 6,000 + did not double just increased... and the call i was dragging... to go in and get a D&C done or just wait until my body rejects it.
I want nothing done like i had said...I am not even going to take the dr's call, I already made another appointment with another doctor... 2nd opinion...
I've forgotten to listen to my heart, and it tells me everything is going to be ok..
I have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful husband that supports me with everything

Update 3

Numb...
That's all i can say
Last week in ER I was measured at 5 Weeks... Yesterday I was measured at 5 Weeks 6 Days... Only the Sac was present
I get a call from the doctor and she says that she wants to do a laparoscopy and more lab tests, but personally and made sure she heard ME this time... I don't want anymore ultrasounds or procedures... If God wants me to have this baby then it will happen... it's in his hands now.
I'm just going to let nature run it's course and see what happens.

Whoever reads this post, thanks for the prayers and good thoughts... they are greatly appreciated

Update 2

Yesterday i was supposed to get a call from 'THE DOCTOR" and just got a call from the imaging clinic to schedule an ultrasound today, which i think it means.. my hcg levels went up... i guess the doctor wants to see what is going on in there.
I tried calling that doctor... and she wasn't there... oh the wait...
Again... where is my bottle of patience? oh wait... my 2 year old accidentally spilled it! LOL
I get another call at night... from "the" doctor again and she advised me to go to ER... I put my foot down on this one...i asked her if it was truly necessary if I already had an appointment scheduled for an ultrasound today.. she said..oh no its just for us to check... OH HECK NO!
I said you know I'm not going to go to ER.. I am not experiencing any kind of pain or bleeding... why should i? did my levels go up? They did end up going up, tripled... Which is a good sign.. like I had imagined when earlier that day i received that call...
Well I got the appointment at 3 today... hopefully we will just have to wait...
OH btw one of my good friends sent me this website...
www.­misdiagnosedmisc­arriage.com
gave me a lot inspiration and hope.. especially the first story... In tears...at work....
seems kind of corny, but I just never imagined myself going through something like this....

Update...

I could just say it's been nerve wracking.... I went in for my first prenatal last week and nothing could be found... measured my HGC levels and they are not doubling up... they are rising but not doubling
My doctor, which I am planning on changing ASAP because of this... told me i might have an ectopic pregnancy... Or because of my levels it could be twins, REALLY DOCTOR, REALLY? from one end to the other one?
I was called on Thursday for an Emergency Ultrasound and Lab Tests... My HCG levels were down.. but there was a G Sac...but it was not ectopic and the Sac measured 5 Weeks
I went in yesterday my G Sac Grew but still nothing...
I've had no cramping until today... that could mean 2 things... Either my body is growing or my body is expelling a bad pregnancy...
Oh the wait.. I gotta wait for my HCG Level Results again... and also a progesterone test that was requested yesterday.... and the wait is just killing me!
I just hate when i have no saying on things...like this one... there is nothing, absolutely nothing i could do to keep this pregnancy... except my faith...

Time Flies!

My little one is almost 3... and we are just going for baby #2!
More to come....

Half Way

that is all i gotta say

Thanksgiving

We celebrated thanksgiving at my Sister's house.. and rode motorcycles.... played in sand.





my husband is soooooo hot in this outfit~!


Yup that is me...



and that, well that is my little rolly polly

Chilling with Mommy

Daddy..

Alanna's Baptism...

Halloween time

Mary had a little Lamb.. Little Lamb Little Lamb

Daughter like Father...

I got no words

Julian

This weekend we went to Julian to eat some yummy Apple Pies and Caramel Apples... my favorites!

the rose path... they didn't no roses...

The Dinner Alanna eating a Pickle...

Thousand Trails... we sneaked in there just to take these pictures...

Crawling... :(

LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND!





SO I JUST GAVE HER A COOKIE...

Baptism... just not Alanna's

This weekend we went to one of our friends niece or nephew... can quite remember.. but we gave A a tortilla for the first time.. and she looooooved it...
see it yourself