It's measuring normal.. what a relief.. and what a great way to start cooking thanksgiving dinner... so thankful for everything that I have...
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
8 Weeks Appointment
It seems like we are going to have to be seen by the doctor every two weeks... we get a chance to see the peanut twice a month..... due to the previous losses...
Which is great!
I am soo excited.. but I am also very cautions of the things I do and Don't do...
Morning Sickness is at night... but all of a sudden... I am getting it all day now... so forget about water, coffee or chips. nothing.... i cannot eat anything....
Lost 5 lbs already.... and I think, i'm just shedding the excess.. LOL
Anyways... it's so easy for me to loose track of what I initially logged in for....
2nd Dr Appointment was very gratifying, we heard the heartbeat 159 beats per minute...My little darling is a strong hearted... or so i felt.... Leaving the Dr K's office, i burst into tears, tears of joy... i couldn't contain myself... "a beat of hope".
Hearing the heart means you have reduced by 30% the chance of a loss..
We will keep you updated.. Next Appointment is on Nov 23rd....
Which is great!
I am soo excited.. but I am also very cautions of the things I do and Don't do...
Morning Sickness is at night... but all of a sudden... I am getting it all day now... so forget about water, coffee or chips. nothing.... i cannot eat anything....
Lost 5 lbs already.... and I think, i'm just shedding the excess.. LOL
Anyways... it's so easy for me to loose track of what I initially logged in for....
2nd Dr Appointment was very gratifying, we heard the heartbeat 159 beats per minute...My little darling is a strong hearted... or so i felt.... Leaving the Dr K's office, i burst into tears, tears of joy... i couldn't contain myself... "a beat of hope".
Hearing the heart means you have reduced by 30% the chance of a loss..
We will keep you updated.. Next Appointment is on Nov 23rd....
Friday, November 4, 2011
Here we go again...
 | |
| 5 WEEKS AND 5 DAYS |
Did Lab Test for My HGC Levels on Tuesday November 1st (6.2 Weeks) and my levels were 46,000!
Im currently on Baby Asprin and Prometrium...
Monday, August 15, 2011
Hard Days
You can have all the support in the world and feel ok.. but when you are alone... and things start running through your mind, you break down.
I had not had the chance to just let it all out... i sometimes pretend to be stronger than i am... but i am not, I rather not talk about it, and swallow the whole pain in one big gulp.... and it almost feels like I'm swallowing a big ball of fire, especially when my daughter asks me "is my little brother hungry" or "cold" or any question related to our loss. I can't let her see the pain... I push the words out of my mouth and hold back my tears and tell her.. "he/she is going to be a little bit late"
Yesterday, was bad... anything would make me cry... My husband asked me if I wanted to go to our chapel... I didn't know if I wanted to be there.
I felt so much sadness, I couldn't bear the thought of being in front of God, What would I say? My head is asking " why did you give him to me and then take him away" but my heart reminded me of our Virgin... How selfish of me... who was I to ask something like that?
I cried, sat there just accepting his will
And I prayed for strength...
I had not had the chance to just let it all out... i sometimes pretend to be stronger than i am... but i am not, I rather not talk about it, and swallow the whole pain in one big gulp.... and it almost feels like I'm swallowing a big ball of fire, especially when my daughter asks me "is my little brother hungry" or "cold" or any question related to our loss. I can't let her see the pain... I push the words out of my mouth and hold back my tears and tell her.. "he/she is going to be a little bit late"
Yesterday, was bad... anything would make me cry... My husband asked me if I wanted to go to our chapel... I didn't know if I wanted to be there.
I felt so much sadness, I couldn't bear the thought of being in front of God, What would I say? My head is asking " why did you give him to me and then take him away" but my heart reminded me of our Virgin... How selfish of me... who was I to ask something like that?
I cried, sat there just accepting his will
And I prayed for strength...
Saturday, August 13, 2011
GRACIAS
El apoyo que me brinda mi familia, mis amigos y mi esposo es tan grande que gracias a dios no he sentido dolor... Bueno no ha sido tan fuerte... Me da mas sentimiento sentir el carino de mi familia Y amigos...se que estan conmigo.
GRACIAS!
GRACIAS!
Friday, August 12, 2011
The "M" Word
It was a miscarriage....
it started lightly but it escalated to bright red...
Anyways life goes on, and we keep on trying and Para arriba y para adelante
it started lightly but it escalated to bright red...
Anyways life goes on, and we keep on trying and Para arriba y para adelante
Worry Too Much?
I should be around 6 weeks today... and i woke up a little bit more scared today... I have been quite stressed lately and well... today when my my mom asked me what was going on with me... i couldn't hold back my tears and anxiety concerns about this pregnancy...
Sure enough I get to work... and i go to the ladies room... pee and wipe pinkish....
I can't even bear the thought
Sure enough I get to work... and i go to the ladies room... pee and wipe pinkish....
I can't even bear the thought
Monday, August 8, 2011
1st Doctors Appointment
I am :(
Iam very scared, im scared of going to the doctor on August 16th and the same thing happening... I'm freaked out, I've been taking pt like crazy.....I even bought a digital one....
That seems to kind of ease my mind, but when I am at work.... or by myself, that is the only thing i seem to think about....
Today I decided to take a belly picture.... What is the worse that can happen... break my heart again... Let's just pray for the best
Iam very scared, im scared of going to the doctor on August 16th and the same thing happening... I'm freaked out, I've been taking pt like crazy.....I even bought a digital one....
Today I decided to take a belly picture.... What is the worse that can happen... break my heart again... Let's just pray for the best
 |
| Not bad ;) |
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Dar Gracias
Hay una pequena capilla por mi casa, y ayer tuve tiempo de llegar a dar gracias...
Llegue a encomendarle mi pequeno retonito a Mi Virgencita, y que fuera lo que ella quisiera lo aceptabamos con mucho gusto. Que todo lo que nos mandan, es porque saben que podemos y que seremos los mejores padres para nuestros hijos.... Senti una bendicion tan grande cayo sobre mi.... no habia podido caer en cuenta, que todo este tiempo de dolor que yo tenia, habia llegado a su final...y empeze a llorar de felicidad... Diran que que chipis.... pues si.... no es cierto.... si senti algo muy bonito....
Llegue a encomendarle mi pequeno retonito a Mi Virgencita, y que fuera lo que ella quisiera lo aceptabamos con mucho gusto. Que todo lo que nos mandan, es porque saben que podemos y que seremos los mejores padres para nuestros hijos.... Senti una bendicion tan grande cayo sobre mi.... no habia podido caer en cuenta, que todo este tiempo de dolor que yo tenia, habia llegado a su final...y empeze a llorar de felicidad... Diran que que chipis.... pues si.... no es cierto.... si senti algo muy bonito....
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Our Journey....The dream.... The plans...
After a blighted ovum and a D&C and the feeling of being a failure, even when I stopped and I though that this was for a reason, that God had other plans for us... since we left him out when deciding to use Mirena...it was the least he could do to let us know, that it's not in us to decide, how many or when...it's him
It has been a very humble experience for us, my sister recently found out she was pregnant for the second time, and she was already 20 weeks, it just left me to just sit and question God's decisions, why? why them? why her? what about us?
Couldn't even bear the thought, I couldn't think of it... nor talk to her, seeing her pregnant cracked, punched and squeezed my heart every time.
We moved on... I would worry every month, but not like before...
Not to long ago, and I'm going to make it very short because apparently this dream has other meanings as well, I am still trying to decipher... it started scary but it got peaceful at the end of that part.
Im going to call her my guardian angel, because she came to tell me something in my dream, i can't quite remember what it was about, but during the dream she was with me everywhere I went, and I remember asking for her to visit me often and, she responds that, She had only come to warn me, and that it was very hard to get these kind of permits.
(That is what makes me believe she is a guardian angel.)
At almost the end of the dream, i dared to ask one more question, and it went something like this "am i preggers?" she just smiled and that was all I needed to burst into tears of happiness. She answered that before I even knew!
Yesterday I made T-shirts for our daughter and one for daddy, Telling them about the expectancy.I will post pictures later
I am still kind of worried since the it's just the beginning... in the meanwhile keep us in your prayers
POLKA DOT
It has been a very humble experience for us, my sister recently found out she was pregnant for the second time, and she was already 20 weeks, it just left me to just sit and question God's decisions, why? why them? why her? what about us?
Couldn't even bear the thought, I couldn't think of it... nor talk to her, seeing her pregnant cracked, punched and squeezed my heart every time.
We moved on... I would worry every month, but not like before...
Not to long ago, and I'm going to make it very short because apparently this dream has other meanings as well, I am still trying to decipher... it started scary but it got peaceful at the end of that part.
Im going to call her my guardian angel, because she came to tell me something in my dream, i can't quite remember what it was about, but during the dream she was with me everywhere I went, and I remember asking for her to visit me often and, she responds that, She had only come to warn me, and that it was very hard to get these kind of permits.
(That is what makes me believe she is a guardian angel.)
At almost the end of the dream, i dared to ask one more question, and it went something like this "am i preggers?" she just smiled and that was all I needed to burst into tears of happiness. She answered that before I even knew!
Yesterday I made T-shirts for our daughter and one for daddy, Telling them about the expectancy.I will post pictures later
I am still kind of worried since the it's just the beginning... in the meanwhile keep us in your prayers
POLKA DOT
Monday, August 1, 2011
BFP!
I COULDN'T WRITE IT BIGGER BUT WE GOT A BFP! TWO ACTUALLY.... THING IS J DOESN'T KNOW YET... HOW CAN I TELL HIM?!
Sunday Evening
Monday Morning, (A LITTLE BIT SHAKEY)
**CREMITA... Please DON'T SAY NOTHING YET**
Sunday Evening
Monday Morning, (A LITTLE BIT SHAKEY)
**CREMITA... Please DON'T SAY NOTHING YET**
Monday, February 21, 2011
To try or not to try....
WE are both a little scared of trying again... we will just leave it to God... and let it be what he wants it to be....
In the meanwhile... I will be making Pozole! Literally! LOL
Any good recipes out there? I got mine, but i like to change things a bit... you never know what could happen!
In the meanwhile... I will be making Pozole! Literally! LOL
Any good recipes out there? I got mine, but i like to change things a bit... you never know what could happen!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
update
i am at home after the d&c and just resting... i found a good little friend to hang out... nobody i ever thought off... a someone i though didn't like me...a world full of surprises.... my little baby sister in law... nobody has ever done so much for me like she has done.... she knows who she is...te quiero mucho mi cremita de chantilly....
Monday, February 14, 2011
Final Result
Last Friday's Appointment was went as i thought it would go...
I've scheduled a D&C for Wednesday....
I've scheduled a D&C for Wednesday....
Monday, January 31, 2011
A Week
It's been a week... and nothing has happened.... except just waiting...I heard that taking Rue (c0mmon rue) i would just "release" the pregnancy, I thought about taking it... and I did once, but then my conscience came into place, what if....? the "what if" is what killing me now...
My body keeps on gaining weight and following my hormones orders like if i was still pregnant, i keep on doing research, trying to find answers that no website will give me....I read Misdiagnosed miscarriage and my hopes get up, but then I get into more medical crap and my hopes get shot just like a deer at an open range.
And what is up with the baby boom?
My little family spent a mini vacation at Julian and I couldn't seem to get my away from my mourning and really enjoy my surroundings... Everything made me think...and not to help the cause, this lady at a diner.... told us "you should really have another one..." Felt like putting salt, lemon and tequila on an open wound... no words came out, you could just hear our thoughts and feel our sadness...I know my husband felt what I was feeling... but we both opt not to go that road... it Hurts
I guess what i couldn't tell him then and there... I am pouring here Sorry....
My body keeps on gaining weight and following my hormones orders like if i was still pregnant, i keep on doing research, trying to find answers that no website will give me....I read Misdiagnosed miscarriage and my hopes get up, but then I get into more medical crap and my hopes get shot just like a deer at an open range.
And what is up with the baby boom?
My little family spent a mini vacation at Julian and I couldn't seem to get my away from my mourning and really enjoy my surroundings... Everything made me think...and not to help the cause, this lady at a diner.... told us "you should really have another one..." Felt like putting salt, lemon and tequila on an open wound... no words came out, you could just hear our thoughts and feel our sadness...I know my husband felt what I was feeling... but we both opt not to go that road... it Hurts
I guess what i couldn't tell him then and there... I am pouring here Sorry....
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
SHATTERED
The pregnancy is no good...
Just waiting for my body to release it...
Last week at the appointment... and allow me to say what a difference! He was so much better than the other doctor, Doctor K was a much younger doctor and much more sympathetic doctor... He just said, don't worry we will get through this... we will help you pass this ....
He allowed me to wait 3 more weeks to let my body do it's course, the inevitable... and then a D&C
The sac did not grow more than six weeks which by now it would have been 8 weeks... Things happen for a reason and I know God doesn't send you more than you can handle, but it hurts...
I don't want to hear.. you guys are young, you got your life ahead..
I know that!
For now... Or little angel is in heaven...just allow us to mourn....
PS next appointment is on the 11th
Just waiting for my body to release it...
Last week at the appointment... and allow me to say what a difference! He was so much better than the other doctor, Doctor K was a much younger doctor and much more sympathetic doctor... He just said, don't worry we will get through this... we will help you pass this ....
He allowed me to wait 3 more weeks to let my body do it's course, the inevitable... and then a D&C
The sac did not grow more than six weeks which by now it would have been 8 weeks... Things happen for a reason and I know God doesn't send you more than you can handle, but it hurts...
I don't want to hear.. you guys are young, you got your life ahead..
I know that!
For now... Or little angel is in heaven...just allow us to mourn....
PS next appointment is on the 11th
Friday, January 14, 2011
4th and Last Update- waiting for the worse hoping for the best
4th and last update... I guess the next update would be a good or a bad.... dunno... but here is the deal.
I received my hcg levels and did not look very promising... only raised by 2,000 already had 6,000 + did not double just increased... and the call i was dragging... to go in and get a D&C done or just wait until my body rejects it.
I want nothing done like i had said...I am not even going to take the dr's call, I already made another appointment with another doctor... 2nd opinion...
I've forgotten to listen to my heart, and it tells me everything is going to be ok..
I have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful husband that supports me with everything
I received my hcg levels and did not look very promising... only raised by 2,000 already had 6,000 + did not double just increased... and the call i was dragging... to go in and get a D&C done or just wait until my body rejects it.
I want nothing done like i had said...I am not even going to take the dr's call, I already made another appointment with another doctor... 2nd opinion...
I've forgotten to listen to my heart, and it tells me everything is going to be ok..
I have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful husband that supports me with everything
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Update 3
Numb...
That's all i can say
Last week in ER I was measured at 5 Weeks... Yesterday I was measured at 5 Weeks 6 Days... Only the Sac was present
I get a call from the doctor and she says that she wants to do a laparoscopy and more lab tests, but personally and made sure she heard ME this time... I don't want anymore ultrasounds or procedures... If God wants me to have this baby then it will happen... it's in his hands now.
I'm just going to let nature run it's course and see what happens.
Whoever reads this post, thanks for the prayers and good thoughts... they are greatly appreciated
That's all i can say
Last week in ER I was measured at 5 Weeks... Yesterday I was measured at 5 Weeks 6 Days... Only the Sac was present
I get a call from the doctor and she says that she wants to do a laparoscopy and more lab tests, but personally and made sure she heard ME this time... I don't want anymore ultrasounds or procedures... If God wants me to have this baby then it will happen... it's in his hands now.
I'm just going to let nature run it's course and see what happens.
Whoever reads this post, thanks for the prayers and good thoughts... they are greatly appreciated
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Update 2
Yesterday i was supposed to get a call from 'THE DOCTOR" and just got a call from the imaging clinic to schedule an ultrasound today, which i think it means.. my hcg levels went up... i guess the doctor wants to see what is going on in there.
I tried calling that doctor... and she wasn't there... oh the wait...
Again... where is my bottle of patience? oh wait... my 2 year old accidentally spilled it! LOL
I get another call at night... from "the" doctor again and she advised me to go to ER... I put my foot down on this one...i asked her if it was truly necessary if I already had an appointment scheduled for an ultrasound today.. she said..oh no its just for us to check... OH HECK NO!
I said you know I'm not going to go to ER.. I am not experiencing any kind of pain or bleeding... why should i? did my levels go up? They did end up going up, tripled... Which is a good sign.. like I had imagined when earlier that day i received that call...
Well I got the appointment at 3 today... hopefully we will just have to wait...
OH btw one of my good friends sent me this website...
www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com
gave me a lot inspiration and hope.. especially the first story... In tears...at work....
seems kind of corny, but I just never imagined myself going through something like this....
I tried calling that doctor... and she wasn't there... oh the wait...
Again... where is my bottle of patience? oh wait... my 2 year old accidentally spilled it! LOL
I get another call at night... from "the" doctor again and she advised me to go to ER... I put my foot down on this one...i asked her if it was truly necessary if I already had an appointment scheduled for an ultrasound today.. she said..oh no its just for us to check... OH HECK NO!
I said you know I'm not going to go to ER.. I am not experiencing any kind of pain or bleeding... why should i? did my levels go up? They did end up going up, tripled... Which is a good sign.. like I had imagined when earlier that day i received that call...
Well I got the appointment at 3 today... hopefully we will just have to wait...
OH btw one of my good friends sent me this website...
www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com
gave me a lot inspiration and hope.. especially the first story... In tears...at work....
seems kind of corny, but I just never imagined myself going through something like this....
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Update...
I could just say it's been nerve wracking.... I went in for my first prenatal last week and nothing could be found... measured my HGC levels and they are not doubling up... they are rising but not doubling
My doctor, which I am planning on changing ASAP because of this... told me i might have an ectopic pregnancy... Or because of my levels it could be twins, REALLY DOCTOR, REALLY? from one end to the other one?
I was called on Thursday for an Emergency Ultrasound and Lab Tests... My HCG levels were down.. but there was a G Sac...but it was not ectopic and the Sac measured 5 Weeks
I went in yesterday my G Sac Grew but still nothing...
I've had no cramping until today... that could mean 2 things... Either my body is growing or my body is expelling a bad pregnancy...
Oh the wait.. I gotta wait for my HCG Level Results again... and also a progesterone test that was requested yesterday.... and the wait is just killing me!
I just hate when i have no saying on things...like this one... there is nothing, absolutely nothing i could do to keep this pregnancy... except my faith...
My doctor, which I am planning on changing ASAP because of this... told me i might have an ectopic pregnancy... Or because of my levels it could be twins, REALLY DOCTOR, REALLY? from one end to the other one?
I was called on Thursday for an Emergency Ultrasound and Lab Tests... My HCG levels were down.. but there was a G Sac...but it was not ectopic and the Sac measured 5 Weeks
I went in yesterday my G Sac Grew but still nothing...
I've had no cramping until today... that could mean 2 things... Either my body is growing or my body is expelling a bad pregnancy...
Oh the wait.. I gotta wait for my HCG Level Results again... and also a progesterone test that was requested yesterday.... and the wait is just killing me!
I just hate when i have no saying on things...like this one... there is nothing, absolutely nothing i could do to keep this pregnancy... except my faith...
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